Not just listing things you know you ought to be grateful for, the "meh I guess I'm grateful for having a job..." grumblings. What are you actually thankful for?
I'm not a gratitude person, so this is not easy for me. Either things in my world are working smoothly (but can you really be thankful for that?) or they're not and need to be fixed (causing me frustration). It's kind of like if you injure your leg and then have to be on crutches...we don't take walking for granted until it's harder or gone.
However, if you start listing things you're grateful for (actually grateful for is a plus, but even the ought to be grateful for will work), after listing a few and really trying to concentrate on that thing - as if you didn't have it, or were just given it - it really does make you start to feel grateful. And that thankfulness - the same feeling of someone helping you out at work, or even bending over backward saving you a lot of time because they've done stuff to help you because they care about you - that same "whew" and "You were such a nice person to do that! Thank you so much!" feeling - will start to come over you with each thing you list.
I actually heard this on one of the meditation vlogs I listen to, to list what you're grateful for when you're feeling down and it will make you feel better. Ideally, you should list some things you're grateful for every night before you go to bed. If one of your goals this year is to have a more positive mindset, this will help enormously.
So much of your perception of your daily experiences is framed by your mindset. If you tell yourself things went badly and beat yourself up mentally, your days will seem worse, and you will be much more depressed about your life. However, if you try to have a positive mindset, framing things in either a good way or an "it's okay, things might not have gone as well as they could have but I'm learning for next time", things go better.
My goals this year include both cultivating a positive mindset (I'm luckily naturaly already pretty good at this, but there are situations where I can be better), and developing a meditation habit to stay grounded and focused, in order to combat stress. I used to think listing things you're grateful for (a gratitude habit) was overrated and didn't help much, but I do feel better after I do it, so I'm thinking of starting this as a habit with my meditation.
So here is my gratitude list for the day:
- for Spouse
- for Spouse fixing my computer! So nice to have Internet downstairs again! This will save me a lot of frustration and having to run upstairs any time I want to look up or listen to something
- for my daughters
- particularly for Daughter#1, who is so silly and loving! I love her silly faces and giggles and requests for "Zing! Zing!" and exploration.
- for the fact that life, and particularly kids, don't stay the same. I'm so used to thinking of Daughter#1 as a hard kid because she was a hard baby, but I've realized these days she's...not. I realized somewhere along the line I'm not worn out anymore, and I do feel relieved. Just in time for Daughter#2 to make her arrival ;)
- for meditation, staying grounded in myself and in God, which will fix my stress
- for God, who refreshes me. Today I don't feel very refreshed but if I make the conscious decision to choose to submit to/follow God in the morning, I feel great all day. I did this yesterday and even though I had a rotten day (every little thing that could go wrong did!) I felt at peace about it. So I can be thankful for God today because of what he's done for me in the past (and usually does for me), even if I don't feel it today
- for yummy healthy dinners
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