Sorry if this is a bit short or incoherent - I'm a bit sleep deprived after a week of a newborn baby :)
I've been thinking a lot about hope. Or about systems vs. goals (I'm reading Scott Adams' book "How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big"). Basically, systems are daily habits/mindsets, as opposed to goals which are a one-time you-either-achieve-it-or-you-don't shot. This is not new to me, as I've been living with a systems approach since fall, as the only way to survive a hectic schedule at work.
Reading the book has made me think a lot about where I want success in life, or what success would like. I realized that I already have a successful system for eating healthy, fitness, family/friends, so it's only career. I've been brainstorming a lot about this, and am still as lost/thoughts as murky as before. As Star Wars would say, "The future is not clear to me." Though I guess it never is.
So I'm still trying to find a good fulfilling career. My two main ideas are both impractical for reasons I won't get into here.
I had a stranger tell me her life story 5 mins after we met the other day. These situations always make me uncomfortable, and I seek to extricate myself as quickly as possible. But afterwards, I thought: what if I had prayed to God that morning, and then he had put this woman in my path? I would have had a totally different mindset, that God was deliberately placing this woman in my path so I could help her. Especially if I had prayed to follow God that day, or to see people with His eyes.
Not only would life feel more purposeful, but God doesn't wait for us to pray that prayer. He's going to give us His teaching/experience regardless. It was only my mindset that was different.
This follows great in the example of Jesus. After all, the people he healed were mostly strangers who approached Him at random times, sometimes when He was worn out.
So in searching for what to pray for, I don't think God will tell me a specific career, but regardless of what I choose, I realized I could use hope. When I was a child, I had a surety about my path, and an optimism and excitement for the future regardless of the uncertainty. I don't know when people lose that, but I wan that hope back again. I don't want the future to simply be coasting along, or worse viewed as drudgery. I want the hope of new things, because after all, the future is just as new and unexpected as it was when I was a kid. Even choosing a career, which I guess has an association of locking me onto one path whereas when I was a kid all my options were blank and open before me, will have unexpected things. I may even have several careers!
So in that light, here's what I've been reading in the Gospel of John:
John 2:
- Jesus's mother Mary must have seen him do signs already (even though they're not listed in the Bible). She expects him to do something about the wine, and gives a blanket declaration to the servants to does what He tells them. So she has seen enough signs to trust Jesus (know it's not coincidence, and see that he can control his power).
- I would have thought there would be 7 jugs, the Hebrew number of completeness (because the world was created in 7 days). I had forgotten there was only 6.
- not sure what was so bad about the money changers. Many people had not brought sacrifices with them, yet they were required. I think it would have been very bad for them before God if they didn't have a sacrifice with them. So maybe just people should have not been selling them in the actual temple? on the grounds outside instead?
- Also, the sheep/oxen/lost money first impulse seems a waste to me. Am I too efficiency focused?
- The Jews are like, "who are you to tell us what to do?" Unless he's an authority figure, which they ask Him. We often let authority figures get away with stuff we wouldn't let others do (something Jesus makes sure to turn on its head - he elevates the common person). Or else maybe they assume he has some sort of authority to do that. I assume them asking "what sign" means miracle, or sign from God (i.e. only a Prophet of God would have that authority) and not just a seal from some greater authority figure.
- Jesus's whole "destroy this temple" response would have left me confused if I were a Jew listening then too. Of course they would think he was talking about the Temple in the city! Because no one knew the future. Though if he really was both God and man, then his body housed the Spirit of God so would be a temple!
- Love v. 22 - His disciples only believed Jesus afterwards when they remembered the pieces and put them together. So belief comes in time! Don't be discouraged if you don't understand all the pieces now!
- v. 23 - if a lot of people were believing, he must have been doing a lot of pretty miraculous signs. Too bad they're not recorded! Just a comforting thought that there is much more he did that is not recorded, that even if you're having trouble believing now, if you had been there I'm sure you could not help but see all his miracles and believe!
- v. 24-25 so they trust themselves to Jesus but not him to them, because he sees all their hearts as wicked. He doesn't need anyone to warn him. I guess we should keep this in mind, as Keepers of the Faith - goes along with the whole "in the world but not of it". Be friendly but have a healthy skepticism and don't expose your back. Or does that make you a cynic/pessimist and corrupt your mind over time?
John 3: the story of Nicodemus
- Nicodemus is a ruler of the Jews. So he is an important man - this is not a second rate person who's coming to Jesus.
- He is acknowledging that even though the top Jews are portrayed as always being against Jesus, they acknowledge among themselves that he is sent from God as a teacher. Which means they should be listening to his teachings, right? If they acknowledge that he is from God, and is teaching them, then these teaching are coming straight from God Himself.
- How do they know he's from God? Because of the signs (miracles) he does. Do people do miracles today? What do we think of them? I guess if they did them consistently, we would probably admit there must be something magical or somehow they are in touch with the divine.
- Nicodemus doesn't ask how to enter the kingdom of God, so Jesus isn't answering a question there. I read Jesus's line as "unless you see things with fresh eyes - with as different enough worldview as if you were a newborn in a new place, experiencing everything differently - you will not see the kingdom of God." I'm thinking the top Jews thought they were going to see the kingdom of God and Jesus is saying this as a warning - in other words, you are not as secure as you think. Unless you see things with a new worldview, you actually will NOT be seeing the kingdom of God.
- The whole idea of being born again (especially after just having experienced all the gory details of birth last week!) is as puzzling to me as it is to Nicodemus. Jesus says we must be born of water and of the Spirit. There's actually a debate on this between groups of Christians...does it mean a baptism that combines both water and Spirit? Or does it mean getting born the first time for real as everyone does (with amniotic fluid as "water") and then a baptism of the Spirit? I tend towards the latter view. In other words, the way I read this, Jesus is stressing it's not enough to be born, one must be born of water AND born of the Spirit. So the baptism is purely spiritual. As John the Baptist says, he baptizes with water but Jesus baptizes with the Holy Spirit. So it's the Holy Spirit alighting on you and changing you rather than a water experience (which may or may not change you).
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