The Importance of Gratitude

If you're looking for peace, try finding gratitude.

Not just listing things you know you ought to be grateful for, the "meh I guess I'm grateful for having a job..." grumblings. What are you actually thankful for?

I'm not a gratitude person, so this is not easy for me. Either things in my world are working smoothly (but can you really be thankful for that?) or they're not and need to be fixed (causing me frustration). It's kind of like if you injure your leg and then have to be on crutches...we don't take walking for granted until it's harder or gone.

However, if you start listing things you're grateful for (actually grateful for is a plus, but even the ought to be grateful for will work), after listing a few and really trying to concentrate on that thing - as if you didn't have it, or were just given it - it really does make you start to feel grateful. And that thankfulness - the same feeling of someone helping you out at work, or even bending over backward saving you a lot of time because they've done stuff to help you because they care about you - that same "whew" and "You were such a nice person to do that! Thank you so much!" feeling - will start to come over you with each thing you list.

I actually heard this on one of the meditation vlogs I listen to, to list what you're grateful for when you're feeling down and it will make you feel better. Ideally, you should list some things you're grateful for every night before you go to bed. If one of your goals this year is to have a more positive mindset, this will help enormously.

So much of your perception of your daily experiences is framed by your mindset. If you tell yourself things went badly and beat yourself up mentally, your days will seem worse, and you will be much more depressed about your life. However, if you try to have a positive mindset, framing things in either a good way or an "it's okay, things might not have gone as well as they could have but I'm learning for next time", things go better.

My goals this year include both cultivating a positive mindset (I'm luckily naturaly already pretty good at this, but there are situations where I can be better), and developing a meditation habit to stay grounded and focused, in order to combat stress. I used to think listing things you're grateful for (a gratitude habit) was overrated and didn't help much, but I do feel better after I do it, so I'm thinking of starting this as a habit with my meditation.

So here is my gratitude list for the day:

• for Spouse
• for Spouse fixing my computer! So nice to have Internet downstairs again! This will save me a lot of frustration and having to run upstairs any time I want to look up or listen to something
• for my daughters
• particularly for Daughter#1, who is so silly and loving! I love her silly faces and giggles and requests for "Zing! Zing!" and exploration.
• for the fact that life, and particularly kids, don't stay the same. I'm so used to thinking of Daughter#1 as a hard kid because she was a hard baby, but I've realized these days she's...not. I realized somewhere along the line I'm not worn out anymore, and I do feel relieved. Just in time for Daughter#2 to make her arrival ;)
• for meditation, staying grounded in myself and in God, which will fix my stress
• for God, who refreshes me. Today I don't feel very refreshed but if I make the conscious decision to choose to submit to/follow God in the morning, I feel great all day. I did this yesterday and even though I had a rotten day (every little thing that could go wrong did!) I felt at peace about it. So I can be thankful for God today because of what he's done for me in the past (and usually does for me), even if I don't feel it today
• for yummy healthy dinners

Finding Peace

At a time when we're starting a new year, and embarking on new undertakings (that are hard/stressful...that's why they're our goals! If the processes for reaching our goals were easy, we'd already have accomplished them.), it can be challenging to find peace.

I found myself listening to a YouTube video today that I discovered (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xArFa3a136k), in which the speaker noted some reasons she had peace. I thought they were worth remembering, so here they are!

Things to inspire peace:

1. You are at peace with God, remember, because of Jesus the Messiah's reconciling of humans with God.
2. God knows you're a flawed person and loves you, regardless. He's like your best friend. He knows your quirks, and the not-so-nice sides of your temperament. He wants to help you grow, wants the best for you, and puts up with the hard parts in the meantime with patience.
3. When you feel weak or down, know that God's strength is stronger when we're weak. God can handle your situation, even if you can't.
4. Prayer - put your situation in the hands of God. If you make regular prayer a habit, it will help ease your mind about situations - because you're not in control of life, regardless of what's happening. God is. So praying will help you communicate with him, and trust him in those times where we can't see an answer or a way out.

Also, I love that the video was a woman reading the Bible aloud! All of the audio bibles I've encountered have been men. She read passages in a very calming, whispering way - like a mother to a child, or one woman to another. It definitely helped me to see the Bible in a new light, and my only hope is that I can find a good audio version of a woman reading the whole Bible.

Use what you're given, and don't compare yourself to others

Sometimes, hearing a truth in a different way (or in a real-life setting) helps it sink in.

In most religions, many of the main truths are not just stated but are illustrated through examples or shown through stories.

In Christianity, Jesus often tells the people listening stories. Only, these are a special kind of story, called a parable - a story with a message. Just as Aesop's fables are not simply entertaining stories about animals but whose main point is a moral message the reader is supposed to take away, Jesus's stories are more about the message than the details.

Unlike Aesop's fables, where the message is clearly stated at the end of the story, Jesus didn't tell us a nice summary line. Sometimes his message is easy to figure out, and sometimes it's more ambiguous. This is why people have debated the messages and meanings of his stories for hundreds of years.

Today I had an insight about a particular story: the story of the talents.

In this story, Jesus tells of a landowner who gives 3 of his servants some money. To one he gives 5 coins (called Talents), to one he gives 2, and to the last he gives 1. Then this owner leaves on a trip. When he comes back, he asks the servants for an account of the money. The first, to whom he gave 5, went out and doubled that money, so now had 10. The second, to whom he gave 2, went out and doubled that money also, so now had 4. But the 3rd servant was so afraid he went and hid his money in the field, so didn't make any extra money. The owner chides him harshly, saying he should have at least invested in their version of the bank, to make a little extra money! He takes that coin away and gives it to the servant who had 5. One message seems pretty clear: don't be a bad steward of what you're given.

I was listening to a sermon which used this story. In the sermon, the preacher was talking about investing money, but acknowledged the Talent(s) you're given are your resources - not just financial but your time, energy, etc.

And then I had a realization.

The Message:
My realization was this: I realized the Talent could also stand for something like faith, and we're not all given the same amount, but it's what we do with what we're given that counts.

I know of many Christians throughout history who have had doubts. Some seem plagued with doubts and are constantly burdened and troubled, while others seem carefree and at ease. Myself, I tend towards ease while Spouse struggles constantly with questions. In fact, I know several people who want to believe in the Christian God and believe the rational truths of Christianity but have just never felt God. Imagine praying, living life, going to church...and never, not ever once, feeling a presence like God is there.

I don't know what to tell these people. My own faith comes partly from the fact that I had some powerful God experiences in my past, times where God was speaking directly to me. Now, that hasn't happened for a while (in fact, happened often during 1 period in my life and only occasionally afterwards), but it was such a powerful and...supernatural experience, for lack of a better word...that I cannot deny the existence of God, and this carries me through during times where I don't feel or see God working in my life.

So my heart breaks for these people, and it raises the question of "why? Why God why won't you show yourself to these people? Are you and something is just broken in them so they can't hear you? But if you're God and want to bring people to yourself, can't you fix that?"

But the parable of the Talents is an answer, at least a partial one. We may all be given different amounts of faith. So perhaps the people burdened with doubts were only given 1 talent, and they're doing the best they can with that (and God will judge them with more mercy).

And since I find it relatively easy to believe, that would mean I was given more. Which means...more is expected of me. Which is a little scary. Am I living up to what God wants of me?

I've never told anybody about Jesus and had them come to know Him. I'm not one who talks about Jesus often (in fact, hardly at all) or wears my faith on my sleeve. In fact, I struggle thinking of God daily and making good Christian decisions even when the choice is clear.

Now, it's clear from the Bible that salvation does not depend on my actions. But, the Bible also mentions often that if your faith doesn't change you, doesn't let you depend on God, did you really put your trust in God in the first place? And then how many times do you have to choose your own way instead of God's before you're considered not saved? It's a dangerous slope if you start down it, much like the path of the Sith. The good news is, there's hope.

Even if you've called yourself a Christian up to this point but haven't trusted God, you can change. Right now, your next decision, tomorrow, the next day...begin trusting him. And trust is hard. That's why it's called trust. It means going with what someone else (in this case, God) wants, without seeing the whole picture. Maybe when every bit of your intuition screams that it's wrong. 

Main Points:
1. We are all given different amounts of faith. If you struggle with doubts, do what you can. God doesn't expect as much from those given less. And if you're given more...use what you have. Share your joy of God. Help others.

2. In an added twist, in real life, the servants don't know how much they are given. This means if you're doing everything you can but are only producing 2 fruits worth as outcome, yet see someone else easily producing 5 fruits worth, don't beat yourself up. Each person is given different skills and talents. You may only have been given 2 to start with. God doesn't expect you to then bring in 5, he is happy if you simpy double your 2...even if your gain is smaller than someone else's. Since no one can know how much faith/resources/opportunity someone else is given, it can be disheartening to judge yourself as bringing in less than others when you're trying your hardest. Just do what you can with what you have. You may be an introvert. You may not have many friends. You may not have opportunities. Just try to live as Christ-like as you can, and take opportunities if you see them.

3. The last part is the bank. The owner tells the servant given less that he should have at least put it in the bank and gotten some interest back, even if it didn't double. What does the bank symbolize? I think it symbolizes the church. So at least put your time and efforts into other Christians - you may not bring non-Christians to Christ, or even use your resources to help the poor, but you are helping support others who are...so in a way you're getting a tiny investment back even if you're not on the front lines yourself. This means volunteering in the church, helping support other Christians, etc. Now, all Christians should be doing this, but if you can't do anything else with your life, at least pour your efforts into this. 

New Year's Resolutions

I thought I'd take a break from applying Bible wisdom to Star Wars and real life to talk about my goals for the coming year.

Many people make New Year's Resolutions, and though I personally believe you should make goals any time they're needed over the course of the year, I do love looking ahead. Making new goals. New plans. New possibilities. You can become a new You this year. You will become a new You this year, a better You.

So here are my goals for 2016:

• productivity - in terms of mindset and continuing the good habits I've learned about planning and carrying out goals. Stay productive. Keep procrastination/stuck in a rut to a minimum.
• positivity - continue trying to have a positive view of the world. In general I do, but I need to work on maintaining positive thought patterns, and would like to add learning to build others up (encourage them) instead of distancing myself from them
• maintain a healthy diet and exercise - goal is to try to move my body in some way most days of the week
• meditation - begin a meditation habit, or continue what I've started. Continue yoga for its mindfulness and body consciousness effects. Begin meditation to get my mind in order. Begin reading the Bible often (as part of this meditation/devotional practice).
• Make all of my actions for God - really, just think of God more, and increase my leaning on Him. Pray more. Be more open about my relationship with Him (don't flaunt it, but don't hide it either...it's just a normal and regular part of my life, just like any other hobby). Trust Him more.

Here's wishing a happy, healthy new year to you all!

Romans 14: Just because you're a "good Christian" doesn't mean you're a better Christian

Romans 14 is all about judgment, or judging one another as Christians (particularly judging someone as "less Christian" if they do certain actions).

This was only driven home recently as, driving through Florida, there were billboards spaced every few feet along the interstate with a Jesus message. Some were Bible verses, but some were condemning. One in particular had the message "Lust leads you to Hell."

Unfortunately, this message is patently false and has no relation to Christianity.

In reality, salvation (or whether or not a person goes to Heaven) does not depend on their actions. We cannot do certain actions to earn salvation (without having Christ), and with Christ, we are guaranteed to end up in Heaven. No bad actions we take along the way can lose that.

So that message is false because if the person has Christ, even if they are lustful, they will reach Heaven, and if they don't have Christ, they could be the most unlustful person you know, and they still won't reach Heaven.

Christ is the deciding factor, not our actions good or bad.

Now, the New Testament does talk about certain actions as "bad" and others as "good". But, if they don't affect whether a person goes to Heaven or not, they must be for our own growth.

Simply put, if we do actions that are bad for us, it limits us from growing into a person. Our bad habit may hurt others or hurt ourselves (newsflash: the world is full of hurt. This idea of self hurt or hurting others is what Christianity calls "sin".)

Bad actions are "bad" because they limit is from reaching our full potential.

In some ways, this is easy to see. The Bible advocates working hard; if you are a person who procrastinates, or has trouble self-motivating to work (*me, right here! or, at least I used to), it's clear you won't accomplish as much in your life. In other areas, like with the Bible's stance against lust, it's harder to see the bad effect, but just because we can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there. The Bible talks about many issues we can see (like loving your neighbor, working hard, being fair, standing up for the poor and lowly and underadvantaged in society), where we can clearly see the bad or the hurt from the negative, so we need to trust it in the situations where we can't see the clear outcome. After all, God has clearer vision than we have, and those truths have lasted for such a long span of time that it's beyond our comprehension (He has longer reaching vision, whereas our lifespans are so short in comparison, and it's hard to think our modern pithy achievements are even nothing compared to the great monuments some rulers and civilizations erected, but even those far beyond our capacity testaments God scorns as nothing compared to His own achievements).

Romans 14 isn't directed at non-Christians, however; it's directed at fellow Christians. And as any Christian knows, infighting between Christians is far worse, more bitter and vehement than that directed at non-Christians. It's why there are so many denominations.

The sad part is, many Christians are convinced their denomination is the One True Right Way and all the others are going to Hell.

The basic message of Romans 14 is "Do all things in your life for God, and if someone does them differently, still know they're doing them for God too, just in a different way." As long as you're both doing everything out of love for God, you're good.

Now, that brings up another whole set of issues. Do I really live every moment of my life for God? No. I want to, but I don't. In fact, some days I don't think of God at all, I have to remind myself to do so (I'm working on that). But that is what we should aspire to. Kind of like how in Star Wars, at first opening yourself to the Force takes practice, but over time, it becomes more and more of a habit until you're doing it continuously without effort.

Verses which stood out:

The one who [drinks alcohol] is not to regard with contempt the one who does not [drink alcohol], and the one who does not [drink alcohol] is not to judge the one who [drinks alcohol], for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls...and he WILL stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. (Rom 14:3-4)

The drinking alcohol issue has always bugged me. How can some Christians be against it, and so adamantly that they write it off as unbiblical? After all, Jesus turned water into wine, not grape juice. Yes, this very same chapter talks about not doing things which encourage weakness in others (such as drinking in front of an alcoholic), but to take that to "you should not drink at all" is drawing to exaggeration...and then to take that position and say it's the Biblical one is absurd.

Our tendency as humans is to believe in a just world - or that certain actions lead to a certain outcome. "If I just follow these rules, I'll get this result." So, over time, civilizations create arbitrary rules which you just have to follow. Jesus condemned this in the Pharisees, because this action unfortunately focuses more on the rule itself, while sometimes the feelings behind the rules are forgotten - or even contradicted! However, the Bible makes very clear, faith in God is the #1 important thing. Not rules.

If you think of a Christian, you probably naturally associate a set of rules. Christians don't drink, don't smoke, don't have tattoos, don't have sex, don't swear, etc. However, again, these are rules, and in Christianity, rules don't get you to Heaven or even make you more righteous than the next person. Yes, some of these are suggested in the Bible, but again, it's to make you a better person. God sees all sin, and thus all sinners, as the same in His eyes...and so if you swear, drink, have tattoos, have sex, etc., you're viewed just as highly as someone who goes to church all the time and is straightlaced.

The drinking issue is the first issue that came to mind with the above verse (notice I changed the words, from the word "eat" in the original text to "drink alcohol" which I think aptly applies), but I'm sure there are other issues. To me it's clear, with lines such as "So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. Do not tear down the work of God for the sake of food" (Rom 14:20), that the anti-alcoholers do not have a leg to stand on. How can they combat this passage? Do they just ignore this chapter of the Bible? I've heard that some even combat the Jesus turning water into wine by claiming he instead turned it into grape juice. But I think the following line makes it clear that what you eat and drink is so trivial to God...God's much more concerned with your emotions, and your heart pursuing the right things, than whether or not you drink alcohol.

Therefore, do not let what is for you a good thing be spoken of as evil; for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit (Rom 14: 16-17)

We have a tendency (some more than others) to want to tear down others, or find the negative. Instead, let's work to find the positive.

Questions:

1. In what ways do I feel judged by other Christians?

• by Christians who don't drink looking down as "better" on those who do
• as a Catholic, because of all the different practices, seen as a heathen to be converted
• immersion baptism as the only "true way" and infant baptism not counting
• by those who do a greater number of Christian events or who grew up in church from a young age vs. people who didn't - they're viewed as Christian celebrities if they attend more Bible studies or volunteer at church, listen to Christian music and bands exclusively, attend all the worship nights, have done SWORD drills, etc. Does this make them better Christians? NO. It's exclusively between you, Christ, and God. God knows your faith. Just because I've never heard of most of the bands in their main popular listening circle and have no interest in listening to crappy Christian music doesn't mean I'm any less of a Christian.
• In some circles, if you don't read the King James Version of the Bible, some people think you're reading a lesser version of the Bible and look down on you! True, this tends to be older people in more high-tradition mainstream Protestant churches, but it's still Christians looking down on other Christians.

2. In what ways do I judge other Christians?

•  By the music they listen to - yup, I'm a reverse judger. So those Christians whose only music is Christian music and particularly all the latest bands, who dress alike and quote Bible passages in their everyday speech as if it were common knowledge, whose entire hobby list seems to be the church event list...I tend to put them into a certain box. I call it Cultural Christianity (although it's more of a Youth Cultural Christianity than the other meaning, of growing up in a culture where Christianity is entrenched and going to church is expected but more a part of tradition than anything to do with your personal belief). I in general really dislike Cultural Christians, mostly because I associate them with blindly following the rules I stated earlier and taking the rules as important, and standing for hateful things against people I love. However, not everyone who listens to Christian music or reads the Bible often is like this, and no one fits into a box really, so I need to not judge them.

Luckily I've gained some great friends in the past few years who are very Christian and at the same time very practical, uncoventional people. I'm still struggling to integrate this Christian faith with real life, and those people (rather than many Christians who sweep issues they don't like or don't know how to emotionally handle, like science or depression, under the rug and trying to ignore it) give a great example of how to live, move, and deal in the real world and still be wholeheartedly (and undoubtedly to all around) devoted to God. That's my example and ultimate goal.

Real Life Application:

My goals in this regard (and yes, this chapter caused me a bit of guilt as well as frustration, as it pointed out some things I too need to change!):

• Do each of my actions in my day wholeheartedly for God
• Realize every Christian is doing the things in their life for God, and don't judge them. Similarly, don't let myself be judged by them. We're all shoulder to shoulder in front of God.
• Don't fall into following the rules just because it's the easy path. God transcends rules, and wants me to focus on Him.
•  Work on learning to build others up. The Bible commends encouraging others, helping grow their strengths and develop as people. Everyone has some negative, but focus on helping them get ahead, not on pulling them behind.